Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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