after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
