As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
