The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize