Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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