it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Farmville is her only friend.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
