I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
