my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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