he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
