She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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