She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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