$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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