Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
