I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
