Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
