I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just cropdusted the office
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
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