My room smells like vodka and shame
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
