Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
