I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize