Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
