I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She's the barista slut.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
