I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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