Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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