are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
