i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I am one with the molecules
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
