We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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