So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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