How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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