she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
