There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
