Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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