All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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