BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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