So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
