Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize