He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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