i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
