based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
