Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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