I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
