so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
