How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize