i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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