If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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