Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
