obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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