My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He has the fingertips of a God
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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