look no pants
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
