I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
