wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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