He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
