At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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