This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
