we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
