I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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