Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
