mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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