How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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