Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dear god my vagina.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
