So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
