Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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