yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I forget how to act sober
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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