I'm jealous of your bromance
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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