He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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