Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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