It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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