Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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