ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
