Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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