I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you will always have a special place in my vag
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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