Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize