hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
