he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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