end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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