Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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