Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
